Monday, 24 August 2009

10 Reasons not to take a toddler to a wedding!!

1. She will think it is great fun to run up and down the isle saying ''ello'' to EVERYBODY including the nervously waiting Groom.

2. Once locked in the seat booth...made toddler proof by wedging your ONLY pair of grown up shoes in the gate!...She will stand on the seat, pull faces and try to grab the order of service booklet out of the hands of the people in the row behind you!

3. When the Bride glides down the isle to the wedding march, your toddler will reach out to try and grab the bouquet/ Vail/ bridesmaids, and the clap and cheer excited when the music stops....and all else is silent.!

4 .Your toddler will continue her loud appreciation of of music and singing at the end of every hymn.....well the first 2....before you decide it is best to vacate the premises before she goes ''uh oh!'' during the vowels....which you know is more than inevitable!

5. You will then spend the next 30 mins chasing your toddler round the graveyard, trying to forget the fact that you are in Pluckley village!....The most haunted village in Kent.!!!!! If not England!!!!!!And your in THE GRAVEYARD!!!!!!!!

6. All you wedding pictures will be crap......backs of heads! because your 'beloved partner' is unable to join you till the evening reception and you have no one else to chase your toddled round graveyard whilst you try to line up your Bloomsberg shots!
7. Your toddler will decide she can take better shots than you, and she is a full 5 steps away before you notice she has stolen one of the official photographers cameras!........You put it back quickly hoping no one noticed!

8. EVERYBODY at the reception will know your toddlers name, and have a beautiful picture of her on their cameras ,as she enchants them all with her ringlets and cheeky smile, as she says cheese on Que into the cameras.......EVERYONE except you, who will only get bored, eyebrow raised glares or, get out of my face expressions!

9. Someone starts calling her 'reckless Ruby' and it sticks! You try not to feel a bit peeved.....My daughter is not reckless she is mearly VERY confident and loves to explore!......She is 'MY' Whirl Wind!

10. Your toddler will sleep for approximately 45 mins, thankfully during the speeches, which were bloody hilarious! But will wake very hungry...(..even after eating her own body weight in canapes!) and in a foul mood, that she has finally been restrained in the pushchair!.....well at least till mummy finishes her dinner, then its off to accompany the brass band on the piano! and tear up the dance floor with the bridesmaids!

All in all it was a lovely day ......The Whirl Wind totally enjoyed herself (Finally zonked out for good at about 8 o'clock!) And i also had a great time.......( although next time i will rethink the outfit choice, as the length of my dress was not really designed with 'toddler bending overness' in mind!).....Especially when Daddy finally turned up and i got to make good with the champers!
The bride was STUNNING....I'm sorry i didn't get any decent pics but i really did just give up on that front! The weather was perfect and it was great to see some old school friends i haven't seen in years.

We have another wedding in a couple of weeks......I am quiet pleased that this one will be a kiddie free event!!!!
x K


Sew Scrumptious said...

I've sooo been there!! We always try and leave the kids at home now for weddings - makes everyone happier!! Went to a christening with Izzy when she was just 3 and I just remember her shouting 'give me more chocolate buttons' at the top of her voice at a really quiet moment. The chocolate bribing kind of misfired on us. She was also throwing hymn books around. Never again!

Kunklebaby said...

Hilarious! I know just what you mean about the "bending over" aspect of chasinga round small kids. I now forever planning my outfits around it-haha. Ahhhh, the good ol' days when I could go somewhere looking cute and just relax.